Dark Secrets Story of a Lost Girl
by jamejamelyn98
Summary: Jalizza Aubrey is what you would call the average fourteen year old girl; has a couple of close friends, enjoys performing, can have an attitude and fan girls over Demi Lovato. What no one knows though is why she is in love with Demi. The truth is Demi is her escape in life, she deals with abuse at home, depression, self harm, eating disorders. All that changes though in one day.
1. Chapter 1: Lost Girl

**Jalizza's Point of View**

I'm sitting with my head on the table as usual. It's just another boring English class. My teacher Mr. Manning is in the front talking about poetry. He claims that songs are just like poems only with music. I don't beleive that because everytime I write poems and try to turn them into songs it never works.

After that class I went to my next class. Algebra. I hate that class so much! It's funny though because I'm in honors where everyone took Algebra last year but I barely have taken Pre Algebra. They all underestimated me last year and put me in the lowest math class. I didn't understand then and I don't understand it now. Right now we are trying to solve linear equations with elimination. I really don't understand nor do I care at the moment. The only thing I care about is going home so I can get some sleep.

I can never sleep at night anymore, I don't know why. Probably because I am drowning in my own self pitty from last year. I made friends that were mean to me, but I deserved it. I look down at my arms when she was talking about her engagment again. She thinks her ring is so cool. All of a sudden I start seeing the pink lines and think, oh crap. My friend Kayley looks at my face and asks what's wrong. I say nothing I just need to pee. She laughs while I get out my agenda. I hate bringing them around they are so pointless. I raise my hand and ask to go to the bathroom, like usual she asks if I can wait, and I laugh so she let's me go.

When I get into the bathroom I immediatly sink into the ground. I lock the door and get my foundation out of my purse. While trying to find it I see my Safety Pin. I look at my other wrist and shake my head. I promised myself I would never do it at school. I can't keep my erge and I start running the tip of the pin on my arm. Next thing I know I am pressing down, and seeing the scratches emerge. When I am done my fit, I look at my phone and it says it's 12:30. Oh crap I missed the rest of class. They are probably wondering where I went. Just kidding they don't care. I stand up and start applying foundation. It stings like a bitch, but I just keep going on. This is my life, in a way I chose it, so I get to have the horrible effects. When I'm done I get out of the bathroom and walk back down the hall. I check to see if she's in there. Nope, probably with her teacher friends. I open the door and get my crap. There is a note on it. **[Jalizza, here's the homework. If you have any questions, e-mail me] **That's a lie she never answers her e-mail. I roll my eyes.

I then take my stuff and start walking down the stairs. I stop at the painting like usual. It is wierd, I like it but have no idea what it's about. I love to admire it. After I look at it for a minute I finish walking down the stairs and into the cafeteria. Like usual it's crowded. I walk and pull up a chair next to a huge group of freshmen. For some reason this place is very cliquey. I say hey, and they all respond. For the rest of lunch I keep to myself listening to music.

After that I have to go back to the English room for advisory... I hate having Mr. Manning so much, it sucks! I walk up the stairs and into the room. Everyone is talking and I'm just playing along pretending to care and such. After the thirty minutes go by, it's my favorite class of the day, Theater :)

Too bad today we are starting to share our personal stories. I hate the idea of people know what has happened in my life. It really hasn't been too interesting I guess. I sigh and think of Skyscraper by Demi Lovato. I start humming

Demi Lovato means so much to me. I just started listening to her music a month or two ago but she just gives me strength. If I'm alone at home like I usually am, then I just listen to her. I can't do anything wrong when I'm listening to her. It just inspires me I guess. When it's time to leave I start singing. Everyone rolls their eyes since I do it all the time. I walk next door in the theater room. Everyone is on the other side of the room, but I just sit down with my head on the desk.

Ms. Smith comes over and says, "I know you don't wanna but I think you should go over their." She's pointing to where all the kids are. I then remember that she said last class that we would be having a special guest to share their story. I wonder what the big deal is. It's probably gonna be some sad story that's stupid. So I don't seem rude, I nod my head and get up. I start walking singing louder, it's the, go run run part... This is my best part. When I get over their I see a person that they are crowded around. She is trying to listen to something but can't figure out what it is. Then she looks at me and I see her face.


	2. Chapter 2: What's Her Real Story?

**Demi's POV**

I'm standing here in the corner, trying not to be noticed. I'm sure someone will but I really hope not. I want her to be surprised that I'm here. She's not expecting it at all. She's so talented and so amazing. I remember when her teacher Ms. Debbie Smith submitted a video of her singing a melody of my songs from Unbroken in her talent show. She was so good. She sang, Unbroken, Love's Like a Star, Fix a Heart, Give Your a Heart a Break, and Skyscraper. Debbie said that I'm her idol.

It always makes me feel weird when people say they are idolize me or are inspired by me. The truth is they inspire me most of the time. They gave me the strength to deal with all of my problems I faced, well still face everyday.

As the kids come running in. They are all so adorable. One of them yells, "Smith. What are we doing today?" I always find it funny the respect level of teens today, haha. All of a sudden this kinda short kid comes over to me and says, "Hi"

I look at him weird, then I remember I have a wig and glasses on and did my makeup differently. I respond, "Hey, wassup?"

He gives me a weird look and says, "You look like someone I know..." Oh crap I already got caught... He gets a look of frustration, shrugs his shoulders, and says, "Oh well, who are you?"

Well this kid certaintly doesn't beat around the bush. Suddenly there is more and more of the kids coming over to us. I smile and say, "Hello everyone, I'm Daniele. I'm here to talk to y'all about using your vulnerability while acting." I then here a beautiful voice. It's sounds like Jalizza. She's singing Skyscraper.

I look over to her, and recognize her from the video, it's definately her. I am so excited for this moment right now. I wonder if she'll recognize me if she's my number one fan? She does look unusually sad though, I wonder why.

Debbie comes over and tells the kids to take a chair and put it in a circle. A wave of emotion comes over Jalizza's face. Is she nervous about sharing, why I thought everyone is really close in this class. She takes a chair and sits on the side of Debbie and some girl.

**Jalizza's POV**

Once everyone is settled Ms. Smith stands up and says, "Hello everyone, I just wanted to remind everybody that what anyone says here does not leave this room." She says looking at me. She knows I really don't wanna share my life story. She continues, "Now who has not gone yet?" Two or three people and I slowly raise our hands. "Alright Jalizza it's your turn."

I get really nervous because I know this is going to be awkward and stupid seeing I don't plan on shareing much... I then clear my throat and say, "Hey everyone. My name is Jalizza Marie Aubrey like you all know. I was born around here in some hospital. I have an older brother named Spencer. He's a junoir back in my old school. He just turned 17 last week. I can't wait for him to get out of the house... He has the bigger bedroom so I hope I'll get it. But then again I'll have a pool table if not, so that would be pretty cool. Um... I started going to pre-school when I was 3, then started kindergarten when I was 5. I loved singing basically from the time I could make noises." I start laughing, everyone looks at me, and I say sorry. She then continues, "When I was 5 I also started dance classes which was fun. I started with jazz, and then got into acro, tap, and hip-hop. I never really liked acro because I was scared of falling and couldn't do a cartwheel right, so I eventually quit. This would've been 10 years but the musical and other stuff became my top priorety. I don't really no what else to say..."

I stop and look at Ms. Smith. She can tell this is hard on me and gives her sympathy look. "So I heard you started piano lessons last week."

I start smiling just thinking of it and say, " Oh yeah, I really like the piano and it looks cool so I started that. It took me 20 minutes to learn 3 scales, so I don't think I'm really that good..."

Someone says, "What about your personnal life, your past?" I think, how rude is that!

I gulp and get more nervous than ever and say, "Umn my past is alright... People weren't always the nicest and I didn't always make the best decisions but the past is the past and I'm over it."

**Demi's POV**

I can see there is more going on than she is leading on. She kind of reminds me of me a few years ago, when I started in the industry. Her sleeve then goes up a little and I see something. I see scratches on her wrists. Scratches that could only be from self-harm. Shivers go up and down my spine and my heart starts racing. I then remembered why Jalizza's name looks so familiar... A few months ago she sent me fan mail as a cry for help.


	3. Chapter 3: You've Got Fan Mail

**Demi's POV**

_*Flashback*_**- **_A few months previos_

I love the feeling of sleep so much. Too bad I'm getting interrupted by my phone going off. I look at it, its 8 am. It's my manager; I pick up my phone off my bedside drawer look at the text five texts all saying the same thing, **[Wake Up!]**

**[good morning to you to dad...]** I take my phone and go to the bathroom.

He responds**, [Fan Mail time!]** I hate it how he is my manager. I just want him to be able to have a normal family conversation with him. There's a knock on the door. I'm only in a tank top and booty shorts. I go back into my room and put on my robe. I then walk down stairs and open the door. It's my other manager Phillip. He's holding a sack the size Santa Claus'.

He says, "Hi Demi" I don't really like Phillip that much, he's too serious. I much rather have the boss I had for X Factor for a manager, Simon.

I smile and say, "Hi Phillip"

Just as I expected he just did his drill sergeant thing, telling me to read them and not to write back to all of them because it takes too long. I never listen. I think it's important to show my Lovatics that I care. Plus I have tomorrow off to so if I don't finish today; it's no big deal.

When he finished I say bye, and close the door. I don't know where to do this... I chose to sit down on my couch. I get a notepad and pen so that I can respond to the ones I want to and not get up. I set everything down and get started.

The first few letters were just usual, I love you's nothing I really had to respond to. But then I came across this...

_Dear Demi,_

_Thank you so much for everything. Words cannot describe what you have done to me since I started to listen to your music. It has made me seek help, for the problems within me. But there is something I haven't told anyone, not even my counselor, my parents, or my best friend… I look really happy on the outside but I am not. I feel like I'm worthless and I hate myself 90% of my day. I just put on a smile because I don't deserve the attention of others. I am the type who makes everyone happy and makes it non-awkward. I'm tired of doing that. I want to be able to talk to people on a real level. I hate the way my body looks. I feel like every time I eat my stomach gets bigger and bigger. So during the week I don't eat at all. I stay up into all hours of the night worrying if I'll ever be good enough for people. I don't want to self-harm but when I scratch my arms with my safety pins, it feels so good, just to release the pain. I sometimes scar and bleed but I don't know…_

_From when I started school until I started high school I got bullied so bad; it sticks to me this day. I was that weird girl that had the stomach and lazy eye. They used to call me retarded, bug eyed, fat ass, most true and still call me that. But now I don't have to deal with their words or opinions much since I started going to a performing arts high school. It means the world to me; my major is acting. If they offered singing I would take it. Singing is my life, and has been since I was a very little girl. I know that sounds obnoxious since I'm only a teenager but ever since I was four, I loved to just sing my heart and lungs out. Luckily now I'm using my diaphragm though so I'm not causing any throat aches or damages but still… As much as I love musical theater, the people are just so mean. They just criticize every little thing, and you can tell what they are thinking even if they don't say it; I can't stand it! I think I might give up, but then I would have nothing which wouldn't be good. It's weird because I love performing but I hate doing it in front of small audiences, I'm kinda scared someone is going to come over and start pelting stuff at me. I know that sounds ridiculous…_

_So do you think I should get help for the problems within? I don't know, I'm scared of what will happen. It sounds painful, plus how will people treat me. I don't want them to be walking on eggshells when I return to school. For the amount I crave attention, I really don't like it. I don't like it when I get close with people, and I don't like people knowing about me. This year was the first year I ever really admitted maybe I have a problem but that could be because of the summer. This summer I went into a deep depression. I would stay up until 6, 7 in the morning just staring at the walls and then stay asleep until 5pm. I wasn't eating at all or I would over eat. I didn't talk to anyone at all. I never really bathed or took care of myself. I'm starting to fall back into those habits again but I don't know…_

_I'm sorry you just had to read my unimportant problems, now back to you! I am so proud of how strong you are. You are a beautiful young lady who has touched millions of people. You're singing and acting ability is phenomenal and just makes me spaz out whenever I think of it. You have brought me some happiness, so thank you! You make me believe there is light at the end of this very dark journey and I can't express my gratitude for you enough. You don't have to write me back; just knowing you have read this makes me happy. If you want you can follow me on twitter at jayjayrox89, wait just kidding mostly I'm spamming you. Sorry about that I just really am a huge fan so yah. Also please come to Virginia. I have been saving up for tickets and it would just mean THE WORLD to me if you came, it would be THE UNIVERSE if I got to meet you. By the way #lesbian4demi is so true for me!_

_Love you always_

**_Current Day_**

This girl is in such a bad place. In a way I can see the saddness on her. I want to just go and hug and tell her everything is going to be okay. Too bad I need to tell my story and stuff. For the next few minutes people around the room ask her questions, to all she replied pleasently. I have to admit, to some of them wouldn't be so pleasent about answering. She really is such a sweet person! Maybe that wasn't her and it was an accident.


	4. Chapter 4: Story Time

**Debbie's POV**

****I look at Jalizza and see the pain in her eyes. She reminds me of myself in so many ways. She is young and ambitious but doesn't have the self confidence to make it. That's why I think it's so important that Demi is here right now. I don't know if she will see her pain or not, I hope she does. In a way it doesn't even bother me just a little knowing that her life will probably be changed in just a matter of a few hours. The kid can sing, act, and even dance. Sure her dancing isn't the best but if she just trusts herself I think she could really get some where as one.

I look at Demi through the wig, makeup, and all that stuff. I can tell she is thinking about something, but I just don't know what. After Jalizza finishes the rest of the kids go. They all have their sad stories but I don't know. When they are done, I say," Alright now that you understand that you are talking about your experiences, and expressing your vulnerability in front of people. We are going to use that to make you all the stars you were born to be."

That just made me sound like my boss, Mama Cheetah. She always kills me, the positivity she gives everyone of the students here. I continue saying, "Now my friend Danielle is here to talk about that. Through her life she has gone through a lot, and she really uses that. Not only in acting but in her everyday life." I look at Danielle and say, "You may begin."

She starts off by saying, "Hey y'all my name is Danielle Lovegood. I know weird name but whatever. I'm here for basically exactly what your teacher just said. My past was dark and scary and I find it important to share it with aspiring actors and actresses like yourselves. Now to be a good sport, I'm gonna ask your teacher to time me like she did to y'all and then explain it all after. Is that okay?" I nod. I then hit the timer button on my phone and say go!

**Demi's POV**

This is getting scary, I can see why Jalizza is getting nervous. I never have done this before, well I did it in rehab but that's completely different in a way. But I have to so I take a deep breathe look at a the wall and not at any of the people and say, "Alright as I just said my name is Danielle Lovegood. I was born to Pete and Diane, in New Mexico on August 20, 1992. I have an older sister named Dina. She is older by 2 or 3 years. My biological father wasn't always the nicest to us. He was an alcoholic and hit my mother. When I was around 5 my mother left him and we moved to Texas, I haven't really talked to him ever since. When I was 7 my mother met my step-dad Edgar but I don't even consider him my step-dad because he is more than a father figure than my biological father ever was. Together they had my little sister Maggie who is 12 now. Although that was a blessing, after that my life just got worse and worse. In school I had it rough. The kids used to call me fat and horrible names that still stick to me today, they made me feel worthless and I couldn't believe in myself after that. It got so bad that I ended up getting home schooled because I just couldn't take it. I always say that I wish they would've just physically hurt me because the pain really hasn't gone away. Because of it I developed an eating disorder. I always had an unhealthy body image. I remember when I was really little just rubbing my hand over my stomach just wondering if it'll ever god away. After that I started overeating. Then I just stopped eating all together, I remember being 12 years old and dropping 30 pounds and still not feeling good enough. My parents didn't know because they always thought it was because I was growing. Other than my unhealthy relationship with food, I seemed to be fine on the outside but I wasn't at all in the inside. When I was 11 years old I cut myself. I remember watching it on TV and thinking it was going to be away to relieve my pain, and it did for a little. I didn't understand it at the time, but all I knew was that it was helping. When I was 15 I started purging. You might know it as throwing up. There was a time that I only ate two meals in one week, and I was purging 5 times a day. I honestly thought a glass of juice was going to make me gain 10 pounds. I remember blood coming out. I always wanted help in away but never asked or really got it until I was 18. When I was 18, I hit my friend because she said she would tell everyone I was self-medicating. Which I was because cutting wasn't numbing my pain anymore. After that my family and friends just sat me down and had an intervention. I then spent Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years in a treatment center. It was really hard to stop. I remember the first time I walked in exactly. They took my phone and told me I was under lock down. There was a person who followed me around all the time, it made me feel like I was in prison. I wasn't allowed to go to the bathroom by myself. But now I'm getting better and better. These past two years have been such a blessing."

At that exact moment in time the door slams, and I look back at everyone. They are all crying, I look at Jalizza's chair and she was gone. I freak out a little inside not knowing where she was. What was she going to do? Was she gonna go cut? I say, "Where is that girl?"

Everyone shrugs their shoulders until Debbie says, "She just left the room for a little bit of a break. And I think that would be best for everyone, now let's take a quick break. You guys can go to the bathrooms and come back in 5 minutes." After she said that I immediatly jolted for the door. Did this woman really let her just leave. Does she really not know what she is probably going to do?


	5. Chapter 5: Running Away

**Jalizza's POV:**

As soon as I looked at Demi, I knew who she was instantly but I didn't want to say anything. I understand because celebrities don't like screaming fans. But then again she is my idol... She came here to do a job, so I just have to let her and then fan-girl after. As she begins to tell her story, even though I've heard it over 10 million times I can't help but cry. From her explaining her estranged relationship with her father to getting help. I couldn't take it anymore and Ms. Smith just looked at me and told me to take a walk. I then shut the door and start running down the hall.

I hear someone chase me. It's none of their god damn business what the hell I'm gonna do. Not like they have any problems. Not like they feel my pain. I run down the stairs and back into the bathroom. I lock the door and sink to the ground. I need to do this to feel better. I won't get the negative thoughts out until I do. I then hear a knock on the door. I say, "Go away!

The voice says, "I know what your gonna do. It's not the way to solve the pain. Let me in."  
I say, "How do you know, and you have no idea what your talking about! You have no idea what pain I am going through. You have no idea about my past. You have no idea of my secrets."

The voice, "I saw your cutts. I might not your story but I know mine. I did this to. It made it feel better for a little while but it only stays for a little. It's like novicane the numbness only stays for a lil but then you are back to feeling the pain but worse."

I laugh and say, "I don't do it to numb my pain, I do it to make myself feel alive. I am dead inside. All of the times you've seen me happy, it's because I've done this. It makes me feel like I have a purpose."

The voice get more panicked, "Please stop, what if one day you go too far?"

I laugh again, "What if I do. It's not like anyone will miss me. It's not like anyone will really care. I know I won't. I'll finally be at peace. I want it to go dark. When I sleep it's the best. Then I wake up everyday being mad that I did. I want to be in the light, I wanna be with my grandmother." That was the first time I thought about her in a while. It's been 2 and a half years since she's been gone and it still feels like yesterday.

And then their is even more pain and I start shakeing, I grab my needle and stab real hard into my skin. I drag it across. And repeat a few more times. I hear the voice yelling, but I can't hear it. The pain made me feel alive, and then all of a sudden I get really lightheaded. The room is spinning, and the walls are caving in. I realize that this is it, somehow I manage to get out the words good bye.

**Demi's POV:**

I'm so scared. I'm yelling but she isn't answering. I see some guy that looks like a janitor and tell him to unlock the door. He gets out the key and unlocks it. That's when I see her. She is laying on the ground with blood all over. I run over to her yelling for help. When I get to her I hold her. The blood is oozing on my new jacket, but I don't care. I'm trying my hardest to keep pressure but I can't.

What if she dies? It will be all my fault, I couldn't stop her! I am her idol, and she wouldn't listen! All of a sudden I hear a scream behind me. I slightly turn and see two girls. They are freaking out, I say, "Calm down! Now listen, go to your principal. Tell him this girl tried to commit suicide and we already called an ambulance but to put the school under lock down. Do you know her name?"

One nods and says, "That's my girlfriend." I didn't quite understand at first seeing I didn't know Jalizza was a lesbian. "You gotta save her! She is the first person I ever actually loved. I don't know what I would without her." This girl seems to be two or three years older but she looks like she really means it.

I just say, "Leave now before the paramedics come in!" The tears are pouring down our faces.

The girl says, "I don't wanna leave her."

The other girl says, "Tara, stay." Tara nods and the other girl gives her a hug, looks at Jalizza and walks away.

Tara still crying her eyes out says, "Is there anyway I can help?"

I shake my head and say, "The only way you can help is by saying a prayer."

Tara nods, puts her hands together, looks up and says, "Lord please give Jalizza the strength to fight to stay alive. This world would not be the same without her. I will give you anything you want just to keep her. She might've tried to die, but she didn't really want to. Don't let the fact that none of us tried saveing her against her. She is the most kind and caring indivual that just got lost on her way. And if she does, let her become an angel watching over us."

I'm now shakeing, and we hear an ambulance siren. When they come they take her, not saying how she is. I don't want to leave her but I know I will have to. I look at Tara and ask, "You wanna ride with me?" She nods and we run down the hallway, down the stairs, and out into my car.


	6. Chapter 6: White Walls

I wake up, but don't open my eyes. I hear beeping, but I don't understand. Where am I? Why am I here? Then it comes back to me; theater class, Demi, me running, the voice, and cutting. I open my eyes and look at my wrist. It is all bandaged up. I look around and all I see is white. I see white walls, white beds, and a whole lot of white people. I hear someone get up from the other side of the room. I turn my head and see her…

I immediately get butterflies in my stomach, but then wonder why she is here. I say, "Is that really you?"

I thought she would put on her huge smile, but she doesn't. She then says, "It's really me."

I get more confused and say, "I can't believe it… What's wrong?"

She shakes her head and says, "Do you know how badly you scared me? We have been here for three hours praying that you'd wake up."

I don't understand this at all. "Why are you here? Didn't you come to theater to speak to us about dealing with our past emotions and using them to our advantages?"

She shakes her head and says, "No. A while back your theater teacher sent me a video of you singing my songs. When I saw it I got swept off my feet, you're so talented." I smile. "I was so excited to tell you that my record label wanted to sign you and that you would get to spend the week with me in LA to try it out, but then I noticed the cuts on your wrist." My stomach immediately drops. I finally had that big of an opportunity and I blew it. "And when you ran out of the room, I got scared that you would cut, so I ran after you."

It all makes sense now, "Wait that was you?" She nods her head. I feel like worse than crap now. I say, "I'm sorry."

She shakes her head and says, "Don't say sorry to me. I'm not the one you need to be sorry to. Your family is the one you need to be sorry to"

My stomach instantly drops even lower than before. This is going to be so hard... My family in a way is my everything. Sure we might fight all of the time but they are always there. I instantly start thinking of what I can make of an excuse. They never even knew about my cutting before. I think my dad has had speculations about my eating habits, but still. Then it hit me and I say, "I wasn't trying to kill myself."

**Demi's POV**

I feel so bad for this girl. I wish I could help her, but now she is in denial. How does she not think she tried to kill herself? I immediately say, "What?"

She turns her head and looks at a picture her mom put on her bedside drawer, she put it there when she got here. It is of some old lady, "That picture right there, it's the last one of my grandmother. She dies two and a half years ago."

I shake my head and say, "I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. But what does that have to do with why you are here?"

She pauses and responds, "Because she's the reason why I did it. I love her so much and remembering her was just too much. I honestly didn't want to die, I haven't cut in such a long time, and then something reminded me of her."

I immediately think that's a good reason. Not that self harm is good, but she was just coping not trying to do anything. "I remember when my grandfather died, I did the same thing. But keep going."

"That's all there really is to it. I guess I hadn't done it in so long that I forgot how far I could go. I've been told I have sensitive skin."

I roll my eyes, "You cut in a vein..." At that exact moment in time I hear a screech, it's Jalizza's friend. I think her name starts with a Jay to, but they call her birdie?


	7. Chapter 7: Opportunities Come Knocking

**_6 Months Later _**

**Jalissa's POV:**

I'm scared of trusting myself right now to do everything the right way. I take out my journal and start writing._ I'm alone in the bathroom, in my new house. It is so clean with no stains from my blood. I want to keep it that way. My parents are out right now going grocery shopping, they trust me to be home alone so this is a big step. Just two months ago I was getting released from Timberline and they barely trusted me in my own room never mind being home alone. It feels weird being in LA. But these past few months with Demi has really opened my mind._

I get a text and stop writing to look at my phone and see a text from Demi saying: **How are you doing?**She has had my back since that first time she walked into the theater room. It's been six long months of recovery but I'm finally getting better. Right now she is doing judge's house for X Factor. To think I almost went on that show. I text back: **Good home alone for the first time. I'm trusting myself to make the right decisions.** **Hbu? **

I then start writing again. _I am so greatful for everything she has done for me. She opened her home to me, showing me around town and teaching me how the "business" works. Especially since my parents had to finish and find new jobs. They don't even need to work but they would apparently feel guilty living off my fortune, which really doesn't make sence since they made me. Without the years of danceing, acting, singing, and piano lessons, I would definately not be where I am today. _

Demi texts back: **I'm so proud of you! You are so strong 3** a few moments later **I'm doing pretty good, the last person is about to perform, call you when I get out, we'll get lunch!** Haha gotta love that girl. I then get another text from my manager, Lisa. It says: **I have two huge surprises to tell you. Call me ASAP!** Lisa is cool I guess. She can be intense at times but it's whatever. She knows exactly what I want is more than happy and capable of helping me reach it. Right now I am working on my first album. Mostly recording since it was the songs I wrote while I was in rehab. It should be out in the next month. I also put out my first single a few weeks ago, apparently it went over REALLY WELL as in so well that IT WAS THE MOST REQUESTED SONG ON RYAN SECREST'S RADIO STATION! No big deal or anything.

I immediatly call Lisa. After a few rings, she picks up and says, "Hello this is Lisa Smith, how may I help you?"

I laugh saying, "I know you have caller ID. Now what is the surprise?"

"Well you should probably sit down first." I already was. "Are you sitting?"

I respond, "Yes! TELL ME!"

"Alright well... Who's your favorite Daytime talk show?"

I respond, "Well I don't really have one, but I do like Tyra."

"Well guess it's your lucky day because tomorrow your on it!"

I almost drop the phone, I let out a scream. I take a few breathes and say, "Thank you!"

"No problem sweetie, do you want to know the other news?"

"Well seeing that this day couldn't get any better but go ahead."

"Based on what you've told me already I don't know if you want your career going in this direction but Ryan Murphy called me this morning."

'Ryan Murphy is a major producer/writer/creator of television sitcoms, what would he want?' I think to myself. I respond, "And...?"

She pauses and says, "He wants you on Glee."

My heart drops a little. Glee has been my favorite show since its first season. This is a dream come true. I say, "Oh my god, are you serious!"

She says, "Dead. Now I need to know quickly before this window of oppurtunity closes. This could really help your acting career and get your voice out there, but you wouldn't be able to do the tour."

I respond, "Oh wow..." The tour was meaning everything to me right now. I was going to OPEN for Demi. That was such an oppurtunity but then again this was to.

Lisa goes on for a few minutes on how I need to think hard about this and that I need to talk to both my parents and Demi. She finishes with, "Alright well let me know by the morning."

I quickly respond, "Who's definition?" Both Lisa and I have totally different definitions of time. She think morning is 6am while I think morning is noon.

She laughs and says, "Just tell me by 10. I wish the best, if your parents have any questions tell them to call me. Love you, bye" I say love you back and hang up the phone.

This is going to be such a hard decision. I have wanted to be on Glee since I was just ten years old but then again my music career is a little more important right now. Oppurtunities like this only comes once in a life time while music will always be there. I then get a text from Demi saying: **Done!** And a few seconds later I get a phone call.


	8. Chapter 8: She Didn't, Did She?

**Jalizza's POV**

I'm standing here trying not to freak out. My breathing is becoming heavier, and my heart is racing. I know what's coming, but I'm not going to let it happen! A few months ago I would've gladly just given up and self-harmed. But now I'm going to use my courage and will power not to.

I pick up my pen and start writing again, _I was out of the hospital for one month. In that short period of time that I was in it, everyone found out everything. I didn't even care though; it was like I had no life to live already. Everyone was treating me like I was some kind of mental patient; it was like everyone was constantly walking on eggshells when they were around me. Stuff in school teachers would usually yell at me for, they didn't even say anything. Before they would look at me weird or tell me to stop when I would give them attitude or be obnoxious. And my counselor..._

_All she would say was; how do you feel? Do you have any urges? Why don't you like to talk about it? Blah Blah Blah. I didn't mind talking to her before, but I'm the type of person that needs someone to show that they are trustworthy before actually trusting them, she didn't really do that. But then again she was the second person I had told about my self-harm. She said she never thought it was as bad as it was. I don't believe that..._

_But my parents and closest friends were the worst. All they cared about was curing the illness, not really me. They didn't understand why I was doing it or anything. They would be constantly checking if I was eating and my arms. Too bad I was cutting on my legs and lying about when I was eating. The only person I could really talk to and understood was Demi. But she was on tour in Asia and working on her new album. Every day she would talk to me though, she would either text, call, e-mail, Skype. The plan was for me to come stay with her once school was done so that I could get adjusted to the lifestyle before my parents came. But that all ended when she came to visit. That was when I really broke and everyone found out about it. _

I stop writing and look at my new razor I was just about to put into the shower. I wonder if I should. But then I realize I would be giving up everything I've been working forward to. No new album, no tour, no TV show. Everything would just be gone in a second. Worse of all, so would my recovery. I cannot let myself get back to that state. I hear my phone go off, I know I should answer, but I can't.

**Demi's POV**

Oh no, this is bad! Why isn't Jalizza picking up her phone? Is she doing something bad? I immediately call the house and there still isn't a pickup. I was already leaving the house, but now I'm going faster.

Then I think oh crap! I left Miley at the house! We had to pick some of our famous friends to help us decide who goes to live shows, and since last season I had Nick, I thought why not have Miley this year? After all we are still great friends! We were actually going to have a "triple date" well Miley was going to bring Liam and Keaton from Emblem3 really wants to meet her so I thought why not? Wes was going to come along to, and a way I do still have a crush on him after all these months.

I immediately call Miley on my Bluetooth, "Hey Miley, I'm sorry I left you at the house but something big just came up."

Miley sounding worry, "Oh it's okay hun, what's wrong?"

"It's just Jalizza didn't pick up any of her phone, and this is her first time being home alone. What if she is cutting?"

"I'm sure everything is going to be fine, but it's good that you're going over there. I guess I'll just have Liam come pick me up, and still go to lunch with him and the boys. Text me when you know what's going on."

"Sure thing, love you." I then hang-up the phone. As I turn into her driveway. The house is so beautiful! As soon as I get out of the car I run and knock on the door. No one answers. I knock even harder banging, ringing the doorbell. Then I remember her mom telling me there was a key hidden somewhere... Where would the Aubrey family hide a key? Not under the matt, too obvious. I then check underneath the flour pot, nope.

I then look up on the rain pipe thingy and see a metal object in a bag. Found it! I immediately jump and get it. I take the key out of the bag and open the door. I run up the stairs screaming Jalizza's name still no answer. I haven't really been here a lot so I still don't know where she could be. I then find a room with blasting music. I go inside and see Jalizza on the bathroom floor. My heart just drops.

I look at her, with her not even looking at me. Her hand just not doing anything, with her face emotionless. I don't understand what's going on. I say, "Jalizza, what's wrong?"

She doesn't acknowledge me so I say it again. She just stays there staring at her hands. And then I notice it. The cabinet is open, and there is metal on the sink. I say, "Oh sweetie, you didn't. Did you?"

For the first time, Jalizza looks at me. She looks at me straight in the eye and with all seriousness she says, "No I didn't"

I then realize what's going on. I get down on the ground and hold Jalizza. We just sit there for 10 minutes, both crying in silence. Finally she then says, "Thank You."


	9. Chapter 9: Lunch Time

**Jalizza's POV**

I honestly don't know what I would do without Demi. She is always there even when I don't want her to be. I honestly don't deserve to have her in my life. She asked me what happened and I responded, "I have to make an important choice and my anxiety got the best of me." She gave me another hug.

As we got up I said, "So how did it go?"

She laughed and said, "Really good, but you'll have to wait and see." It's so true I hated surprises and couldn't keep a secret like this to save my life. It's weird because I kept my self harm a secret for half a year but can't help but tell everyone else's stuff. Then it was like a lightbulb when off into her head she then said, "Do you still wanna go out for lunch?"

"I don't know. Wait what about MILEY!"

"She still went, just with Liam. I'm pretty sure we can still go if you get ready fast." I nod and tell her to meet me down stairs. I then put on a navy blue summer strapless dress. The last time I wore it was the last time I have talked or seen Tara. As I put on silver earings and a necklace that matches all the memories come back from that day.

_I'm sitting here in the school's lobby as I'm texting Demi good luck before she starts her first show of her tour in Asia. It's 4:15, Tara was supposed to meet me here at 4:05, I hate it when she's late. But then again I am always late to. She is the one good thing that has come out of this all. I didn't know I was capable of loving someone until I met her. I then hear laughing._

_I look up and a wave of emotion hits me as I see Tarra and her ex Kim walk by the front door holding hands. It looks like Tara is saying good bye as the person Kim gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I don't believe this is happening. She said she would never break my heart. I look at them just getting angrier and angrier. I then punch the glass door, the pain was unbarable in my wrist but I don't care._

_Tara looks up and says, "Jalizza you don't understand."_

_I just get even more angrier, "I don't understand? It's not that hard to comprehend this, you and Kim are getting back together. You are such a bitch!" I then run out the door and down the street. I don't care where the hell I'm going I just know that I wanna not be here anymore!_

_I keep running for what seems to be hours. I end up being on the side of the highway. I go to call my mom to tell her to pick me up. I need to keep calm and stay strong. But then all the memories of people telling me I'm not good enough and my horrible thoughts come back. I have nothing else to do, I pull the safety pin out from my pocket that I always carry around with me and look at my skin. I wince at the pain as I stab the needle in and drag it across my skin._

__But now I'm sitting here looking in the mirror and see myself. My beautiful self. I know I am beautiful; Nial Horan personally sang me that song. You know the one, "But that's what makes you beautiful" Haha his Irish accent is so adorable; I have no clue why Demi doesn't actually date him. Plus they would make the cutest little babies ever! As I finish my makeup I walk down the stairs.

As I walk down the stairs I hear Demi singing a new song. I love her voice so much! She says, "You ready?"

I nod and we walk out the door. In the car ride "Give Your Heart a Break" comes on. I say, "Turn it up" And when she does it becomes and epicness of us singing. It still amazes me I can just ask and she'll sing for me, or even just be in the same room with her never mind talk to her. She has become more than a friend; almost like a sister.

I look at her admiring her beautifulness for a little while until she parks and notices and says, "What's wrong?"

I then say, "Thank you for everything you've done. Before I met you, you were a hero to me but now you are more than that. You are the person who inspired me to keep living when I wanted to be dead. There were so many nights before anyone knew anything that I just prayed I wouldn't wake up the next day but then I thought of you and your music. There were so many days at school that I would feel insecure and would want to cry but just listening to Skyscraper or Lightweight made me be able to carry on in my day. Once you came in my life there were so many times in that short period that I wanted to give up completely but your words of advice helped me through it. And in treatment there were so many times I just wanted to get out and not be in recovery but then I thought of how disappointed in me you would be. You are one of the only things that have made this all worth it. I've learned to love myself through you and your music. From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry for everything I've ever said to you that was mean and rude. I know everything you did was for my benefit and was for the best. Thank you!"

With tears in her eyes she says, "You're very welcome. I am so proud of the person you have become. The fact that you just said that inspires me." She then gives me a bear hug.


	10. Chapter 10: I Don't Wanna Talk About It

**Jalizza's POV**

I'm standing here backstage awaiting to be introduced by the one and only Tyra Banks. I mean I remember watching Tyra when I was 11 wishing I could be as cool as her. My parents are in the audience and Demi is onstage right now being her sweet self talking with Tyra. Tyra asks her, "So, I see you are good friends with our next guest Jalizza."

Demi smiles even bigger and says, "Why yes I am! She is like a sister to me; I am so proud of her for not only coming so far music-wise but getting through everything that's been going on."

Tyra looks more interested and says, "And that is?"

Demi laughs, looks at me, and says, "Well you'll have to ask her."

Tyra laughs and says, "Okay, fine. When we come back, I will be sitting down with Jalizza, and then she will be performing her new single 'Happy Ever After'."

The lights then go down and Demi comes running over to me. And asks, "Are you nervous?" I nod. She hugs me and continues, "It's gonna be okay. It's your first time on TV. Even I get nervous to. If you get more scared just look at me."

I look at her and say, "Hey, it worked!"

She laughs as the producer signals me to go sit down on the couch next to Tyra. I walk over nervous but knowing everything will be okay. The On-Air light goes back on and Tyra says, "Welcome back, it's now time for our next guest Jalizza. I heard, you are very excited for this."

I nod my head and say, "Yes, when my manager called me yesterday, I literally screamed out of excitment. I remember watching you when I was younger and being like, 'She's amazing, I wanna be on that show some day.' in a way this is a dream come true."

She laughs and says, "Thank you very much. Speaking about your childhood, how was it?"

I gulp and say, "Like any kids. I always had big dreams so I would do anything to achieve them. I was always either at dance class or doing a show."

She nods and says, "In this century it is almost impossible to not be bullied, did you ever go through any of that?"

I look at Demi who smiles. I get a little less nervous and say, "Well, I don't really perfer to talk about it, but yes I did."

"Wow, someone as beautiful and talented as you. I understand you don't want to get into it, but what kind of effects has that had on you?"

"Seeing that for the first nine years of my education I had to deal with being made fun of, it really did effect me. They would call me bug eyes, and fat. I used to pretend to not let it bother me which worked, but there was always stuff going around and I always heard about it."

"That must've been really hard to always be so strong about it."

"It really was sometimes, I remember getting a message on Facebook asking how I was able to cope with it and why I was always happy since everyone hated me. I think that is where it all changed in my mind. Before I kind of just played it off as kids being kids since that's what everyone told me but that just really hit home."

"What do you mean?"

"Since I was used to being bullied since such a young age, I just got accustomed to the abuse and thought it was normal. But when that person asked me that, it clicked in my head that I was really hated. That's when other problems got into play, and yah."

"What problems happened?"

"Well, I'm just gonna say that, I was hanging around with people who made me feel bad. I wanted so badly to be accepted that I would take the negative words that would come out of there mouths day after day. One day, I remember going to the park with them, and for five hours straight they just yelled at me calling me a horrible person. From that day forward I was never the same. That just pretty much confirmed that everyone hated me with such passion. So I took it out on myself. The friendship had ended because I tried sticking up for myself, and that is where the problems really started developing. I went into a deep drepression for about a year. Every word that was ever said to me or about me just was always in my head. I even switched schools because I knew the anxiety would be too much."

"Wow that's deep. Did you ever try talking to someone about it?"

"Yeah, I had a counselor a month after I started high school. I first saw her because I knew there was something wrong with me, but I just couldn't quite tell what it was. She would try to help me figure it out but I wasn't honest with her what-so-ever because I just turned off my emotions. I wasn't being honest with myself either. I would tell myself I was fine, but then my stresses increased and that what started everything else."

"What did it start.?"

"Some people know this, some don't. But I self-harmed. At the time it was my way of dealing with the numbness and pain. I did it so much, that I got addicted. When it wasn't giving me the same sattisfaction, I wanted to commit suicide. I honestly didn't wanna deal with the thoughts anymore."

"Did anyone know about this, the cutting?"

"No, not really. People probably could suspect it, but no one knew it was that bad. Cutting itself is a serious thing but I was always that happy person! I was Jalizza, the one who was so brutally sarcastic and funny. I always had energy and could make anyone smile."

"Wow that is a lot to have gone through. Now I understand you later went into treatment for it?"

"Yes, I did. After Demi had found me, it took a month for her to realize how badly I was hurting."

"And what was the breaking point?"

"Well, she was on her tour in Asia for a few weeks, and came back to visit me. I had been going through a really bad break up, and I kind of just had a break down. I wasn't going to school, I was using drugs, wasn't eating at all and it just got bad. Demi noticed, and confronted me. At this point I was actually supposed to be in recovery, because I had attempted suicide. I had been telling different lies to everyone and when she did, I didn't even know what to say."

"Oh wow, may I ask you what happened to make her ask?"

"I really don't wanna talk about this part but... I was the type of girl to never do anything wrong other than overusing my sarcasm. The day before Demi came to visit, I had gotten suspended for smacking a girl in the face. I did it because she made a comment at lunch that I wasn't eating anything. She then said she was going to tell my therapist and I just lost it. I accept 100 percent of the responsibilty because it was absolutely my fault. I originally told my parents it was because she asked about my lazy eye and I was just in a really heated mood, but then I had told my brother it was because some kid told a teacher I was using my phone. Demi knew somehow that I was lying and wouldn't let it go. I would just say, 'I don't wanna talk about it' and she would just keep asking. And then because I wasn't eating anymore what-so-ever my heart had been so weak... I went into Cardiac Arrest because my heart just stopped working. It didn't have the energy. After that things started coming out."

"When I was researching you last night, it said you went into a treatment center, Timberline Knowles."

"Yah, I didn't even go home after leaving the hospital. Everything clicked in people's heads and my parents wouldn't let me live the way I was."

"So what did you go in for exactly?"

"Well there is kind of a list. I went in for Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, Self Harm, trauma and an eating disorder."

"Oh wow. Well folks that is all the time we have left. When we come back after the break we will be continue talking with Jalizza and Demi and later... The two will be singing their new duet Meltdown. "


	11. Chapter 11: It's Like a Greek Tradegy

**Demi's POV**

I'm staring at Jalizza as she is telling her story knowing the pain she has went through. She is recovering so fast, when I first came out of treatment, it took four months of serious therapy and I still relapsed. I wonder if her being so strong is just a face so she doesn't have to deal with her problems again. I remember the day she first went into treatment like it was yesterday.

_I'm staring at the beautiful scenery for the first time in a year. Most people would say I'm crazy for coming in the area that brings back all the pain I had released in treatment. The memories aren't all that horrible but they are just emotional. I remember coming back for the documentary and just crying when I walked through the front doors. Timberline was what rescued me from the mental sicknesses I have endured for so long. It helped me get off the path of self-destruction and be able to feel again._

_Most people think treatment in like a repair shop. You come in and come out all fixed. But the truth is, is that everyday is a struggle. It takes constant fixing. Recovery at first was so hard. At Timberline I had people helping and supporting me every second of everyday. I was so used to keep my emotions bottled up and in secret that I had forgotten what it was like to really deal with people. Yeah when I came out I had all the support from the world but it wasn't the same. It is still a constant struggle wondering if I want to go back to my addictions, but I just have to push through it. _

_It's been hard but I got through it, and still am. That's why I know Jalizza will to. That's why I am here in Chicago after all. She is in such bad shape right now. As she sleeps with her head in my lap I can't help but wonder what got her to this point. I understand that eating disorders and self harm and mental things but what's triggered it. Does she have Bipolar like me? She has the same habits as me but it could've also happened because of all the stuff she went through._

_She told me that people were assholes to her but never as far as bullying. She never talked about it though, like it was something to be ashamed of. I wish she would open up about it. She also said she can't remember a lot of stuff though. She said there are a bunch of patches in her life that are just blank that she can't remember. Was it really a lot worse and she ended up dissociating it?_

_Maybe her family is a lot worse than it seems. Her brother treats her like she's garbage. Always calling her mean names and being rough with her. He needs help to but that is for a different time. Her parents are bad to. They expect so much and put so much pressure on her. Before I met her she was apart of four clubs, was a techie for the school play, taking voice/piano lessons, was gonna start working a part time job and her parents still EXPECTED her to get A's. I would understand if she wanted that for herself because I can tell she wants better for herself in life in general but she didn't care about her grades. It was all her parents. And then when she would lash out at them she would get grounded._

_I was really worried about her the whole time I was on tour. I almost get the same feeling of the need to protect her as I get with Maddie. Maddie was basically the only thing that got me through all of the dark days in treatment. The thought of her being in pain and possibly not having one of her sisters. That killed me. I only can wish that Jalizza can find inspiration so she gets out in one piece. _

_The car goes over a big bump and Jalizza opens her eyes. She is still very unhappy with me for revealing all of her dark secrets but I did it for her own good. I can only hope that one day when she is recovered, she could understand. I say hesitantly, "Good Morning."_

_She rolls her eyes as she picks her head up and says, "What's so good about it? My life is over..."_

_I really don't think that she understands the severity of her problems. I then remember that I need to be completely honest with her so she can get it. I want to say it, but I know she is not gonna like it at all. I then say, "Wanna know what! You need to stop pitying yourself. You do understand you have been hospitalized three times in the last month. You think your life is over and I get that. You're right, life won't ever be the same. You're gonna have a lot of bumps in the road and a lot of days you don't think you can make it, but you'll get through it. Right now you aren't living. _

_I get everything you are going through, in ways I'm still going it still to this day. Wanna know what tomorrwo is? One year clean. I have been clean of purging and self harming for one year. When I tell people my story it isn't just for them to get help. It's for them to see living breathing proof that no matter what they are going through, that they will be able to get through it. You have so much talent in general, never mind for your age. You are throwing it all away by doing this to yourself. I know you don't believe it but you are beautiful and smart. The first time I saw you at your school I asked myself how could someone as amazing as you be so unhappy and depressed. But then as I got to know you more I realized why. You have very real and serious things that's going on with you mentally. Treatment isn't the end of you. Treatment is a new beginning to a left that will be worth living!"_

_Jalizza just sat there speechless. I can't tell if she is in shock that about the truth, or if I told her. She then whispered to herself after a long silence, "tragic realization." I look at her and she then says at a normal volume, "Greek tragedies is one of the things we were learning about at school. A tragic realization is when the main character puts all the pieces in to place and realizes everything they've done wrong and the effects they have caused. My parents didn't even come with us because of how scared of the person I have become. I can't even look in the mirror and see myself."_

_She starts crying and looks up and mouths, "I'm sorry" I can tell she is talking up above to her grandmother._

_I look at her and say, "You have nothing to be sorry about. Everything that has been happening isn't even your fault. You are so strong. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you just need to trust me and know everything I'm doing is to help you."_

_She looks at me and says, "Then why can't I just stay with you now and not go to treatment."_

_"Because if you don't go now you never will. You'll just get sicker and sicker." I hug her as we pull into the parking lot._


	12. Chapter 12: The Clock Goes Tick Tock

I sit in my therapist Kerri's office awkwardly listening to the loud tick-tock of the clock. It's been about two months of me seeing her every week but I haven't really opened up to her. My mom has always said, "People only get the help they need if they are willing." Well I've been asking for damn help and nothing is happening from her!

After about five minutes in silence Kerri finally says, "How are you feeling?"

I think for a minute and then say, "Fine, and yourself?"

"Remember we aren't here to make chit-chat or talk about me, we are here to make sure you don't relapse!" I nod my head. "Now you have recovered at a very rapid pace. I know that some people are worried about this."

I shake my head and say, "Ma'm with all due respect I don't think that person has a clue what she is talking about. My mom knows nothing about the diseases I face everyday."

"It's not your mom who has come to me." She then changes the subject and says, "You've told me you become attached to people very quickly but then push them away just as fast after. Why is that?"

I shrug my shoulders and say, "I guess it would be because I'm afraid of loosing them."

"But why is that?"

"I guess it's because of the way I was brought up. My family wasn't always the most open. Sure they would always be there if I ever truly need them, but when I tried talking to them about my problems they would just roll their eyes and tell me I was being dramatic and was overexagerating. So then I guess the problems those girls caused it made me have a constant guard up."

"I can tell what those girls did really effected you. You don't talk about what really happened that often, what did?"

"Well they were always mean even before I befriended them. They would ruin my clothes and make fun of me. When Katelyn befriended them they started being nice. But I was always the long wolf. Through time they started treating me badly again. Next thing I knew they ended their friendship with Katelyn. They never told me to end mine to, but I was kinda just expected. I distanced myself from Katelyn though because then the girls started making fun of me. But once they started bullying Katelyn I couldn't take it anymore. I would try to fight back but it would only get worse for the both of us. I remember over I think February break, we had gotten into a really bad fight. I went to the park because I thought it was my fault that our friendship was over so I wanted to make it up to them. That was a huge mistake, for five hours straight all they did was yell at me and told me how much of a horrible person I was. From that day forward the abuse I got from them only worsened. Eventually it got bad enough that I exploded on them. I haven't talked or seen them since."

"Wow. It sounds like it really effected you."

"It did. They made me feel like I wasn't worth anything. I started believing everything they had said to and about me. It has taken me so long to finally love myself again."

"It plays into what we were talking about before, correct?"

"Yeah now I'm afraid of getting super close to people because I never know if they'll turn on me."

"But that's apart of life. People come and go. You never know who your true friends are until you lose everything and they're still there."

"So I have none then?"

"What about Demi? Last time I checked she's the only one outside of your family who has stuck by you."

"She is not my friend. She is my sister. In a way she has been there for me more than my actual family has."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because my family will never understand me. Even after everything, they still don't get why I am who I am. Even after all the group therapy, they don't. I get heated just thinking about it. They are one of the reasons I'm here today after all. They always used to imply that I'm fat and to stop eating. Even when I stopped eating, got skinny and lost 30 pounds; they would encourage me to keep going. My brother is the worse out of all of them. He just never knows when to stop. Even today he told me to go kill myself. Sometimes I wish I could never see them again and live with Demi again. But she's twenty one and has a life. She doesn't need to worry about a teenager never mind one that's as screwed up as me."

"But that's what family is for. I don't think you living with Demi would be the worse possible thing."

"No, I'm too much for her to handle. She's still going through her own stuff. Plus we go on tour together in a few months anyways. As soon as my album drops we are gone."

"Are your parents going with you?"

I laugh, "No they offered but I don't need the added pressure. This is my first time on the road so I'm actually excited. Plus I'll have Eddie and Lisa to put me into my place if things get out of hand. In a way Demi's team and my team have kinda combined."

"It seems like Demi has played a huge part in your career. Do you think one day you'll resent her?"

"I don't know. She's what has gotten my career started, without her there would be no me. Practically all my fans are her's to. Maybe some day I will wanna be completely independent and go solo. But until then, I'm gonna be thankful and continue to work hard. The new album drops in a few weeks."

"Wow that's a pretty good explanation. Can you tell me more about the album?"

"Well there are a few pop ones that get stuck in my head. Then there are a bunch that are just raw and emotional. I tried making it inspiring but still fun to listen to. This might sound off base for me but I kinda aimed for something like Beyonce."

"It seems like you are inspired by strong women."

"I definitely am. For so long I was weak and had no voice but now I'm stronger."

"If you could describe your life with songs, what would they be?"

"I absolutely have no clue. My life has been so crazy. Probably songs like Fighter, Stronger and Skyscraper. Songs that are played to empower people." My mind is still wondering who is worried about me. "So do you mind if I ask who is concerned about me?"

Kerrie shakes her head and says, "Sorry that is confidential." I roll my eyes, figures. It's stupid how she won't tell me something when it is about me. She looks at the clock that is still going tick-tock and says, "Well that is an hour and I have someone in five minutes." I nod my head and close the door behind me. I then sit in the waiting room as I wait for my brother to text me that he is here to pick me up.


	13. Chapter 13: For The Love Of A Sister

I put my headphones on and listen to music for about fifteen minutes until my brother texts me **[Bitch, I'm here]** I text back **[I'm feeling the love]** as I stand up and put on my sunglasses and put the hood of my sweatshirt over my head. It's crazy to think just a few months ago my brother would be picking me up in his old truck not really having any traffic to now having to worry about paparazzi.

As I walk over to Spencer's car he looks at me with disgust. I ask him, "What did I do this time?"

He sneers and says, "That shirt makes you look fat." I roll my eyes as he continues, "Mom doesn't wanna cook so what do you wanna get?"

I think for a moment about what would be the most healthy and then say, "Subway."

Spencer sneers again and says, "Wow thought you would say KFC you whale." I begin to cry as he gets into the car. If only he knew how what he says effects me.

Not getting in the car I ask, "Why are you so miserable?"

"Because you were born. Now get in the fucking car." I get into the back passenger seat. I don't know if it's because of my brother or what but I always feel safer back here. I then text Demi **[Just got out of therapy, wassup?]** as Spencer pulls out. I plug in my headphones and blast my music. I hear Spencer scream something but just ignore him. Right now I'm listening to 'No Love' by Eminem and Lil Wayne, which is ironic because that is the love I get from my brother; none existing. Demi texts back **[Pretty good, how about you?] **I look at Spencer and text back **[Descent until now]**. The car parks as I get my bag. I put my hood back on and get out,

When we get into the store a few people come up to get pictures and autographs, I still can't believe this is happening to me. So much has really changed since that day Demi came. Once I somewhat get away from my fans my brother comes up to me and says, "What the fuck do you want fat ass?"

I think for a moment on what I want, and what would be the fewest calories. I then say, "Veggie Delight."

My brother looks at me weirdly and says, "Whoa thought you would say Meatball Sub. After all that is what elephants eat right?" I ignore him as he orders. Demi texts back **[Sweetie, what's wrong?]** Oh my god, I hate it when someone calls me sweetie or honey, it just reminds me of when I was placed in the special needs class for those few short months. I really hated it. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love kids who have mental and physical handicaps but deep down I'm smart. I text back **[My brother is being an asshole. Can I stay with you tonight?] **

At that exact moment I see a girl with almond shaped blue eyes, a flat nose, small ears and mouth. She comes up to me and asks, "Excuse me, can I have a picture?" Her voice sounds light and special.

I say, "Of course, you're so beautiful." She starts smileing really big. Behind her is a woman who has a camera. I rap my arm around her and wait for the camera flash. I don't usually like taking pictures except with fans. They mean a lot to me seeing I wouldn't have any type of success without them.

When the camera goes off I give her a hug, she says thank you, and I go stand with my brother waiting for my sandwich to be done. Demi texts back **[Of course, do you need me to come get you?] **I look at my brother in fear of his answer and say, "Can you drop me off at Demi's?"

Spencer looks down at me and says, "Don't you have your own age that you can hangout with so they can comeover?" He pauses for a few moments. "Oh yeah, your too much of a looser. I'm surprised any of these people even like you." A tear drops down my face but I just wipe it carefully trying not to make my makeup smudge. All the negative voices come back and I run into the bathroom trying to escape the embarassment of crying in public.


	14. Chapter 14: My Little Skyscraper

_**Demi's POV**_

Jalizza doesn't usually ask for help unless she absolutely needs it, and sometimes she still doesn't. Sometimes I worry about her, she can be so dependent, naive and stubborn all at the same time. So when she texted me she need to come over I got a little concerned. I just finished wrapping up most of the stuff before the live X Factor shows, I'm really nervous. I like all my acts a lot but I just don't know how this is all going to play out. Last year I had a lot of fun with my group and everyone but no one got far so I doubt if it goes the same that I'll be asked for another season. Then again I think I'm finally getting ready to return to the TV industry, well mostly movies, I don't really wanna be tied down to one project for more than a few months. I just moved out of the sober house a few months ago so it's still pretty hard for me to live independently.

When Jalizza texts me she's almost here I turn on my Keurig machine and make some tea. I wait til it's finished for Jalizza to text me but there's nothing. I start walking down my driveway and see a figure on the ground. As I get closer I hear noises. When I get into eye distance I realize what the figure is and run over.

Jalizza is lying on the ground curled up in a ball crying hysterically. She has her hand over her eye and is shaking. I quickly get on the ground and put my arms around her saying, "Sh, it's gonna be okay" I move her hand and her entire left side of her face is red not only from crying but it looks like she has been punched. Who would do this to her?

I carry her inside and put her on my couch. She's calmed down a little but I'm still freaking out. I try and ask her, "What happened." But all she said was a few noises. I hope her jaw isn't broken! After a while of me consoling her she falls asleep. I pick her up again and carry her into her old bedroom and set her on the bed.

We've had some pretty good memories in here, we were in here when Jalizza's single dropped, and we were in here when we found out it reached gold. It's crazy to think back to the depressed girl who was just broken into the star she is now. But now she is broken again and it's my job to make her whole again. I believe in her though. Things have always tried to tear her down, but she has always been rising from the ground. She's like my little skyscraper.

I go to get up to tuck her in but suddenly she opens her eyes and yells, "Spencer, no!" What does her brother have to do with this. I know he can be pretty viscous and cruel but he would never physically hurt her. Right? I would kill him if he did this. I run over and console her again. I hate seeing her like this.

As I am comforting Jalizza, I'm so tempted to check if she has self-harmed. But then again she absolutely hates it when people check up on her. But also she did come here, but that could be because her brother is a fucking psycho. If he caused her to relapse that would crush her. It would crush me to because she has come so far!

Other than letting her stay with me every now and then when she couldn't handle her family anymore, I haven't really been there for her. She needs someone to be there for her more than just hanging out and watching movies. She has her therapist but Jalizza really hates talking to her about her feelings. She has her parents but there assholes who most of the are drunk who pressure her to be perfect. Her brother is the reason why she is in my arms right now after all! I still can't believe he hit her! I always knew he could be pretty nasty with his words and had a temper but aren't all brothers like that? I never had one but Joe, Kevin and Nick were always like that with each other.

I then notice she still has her sweatshirt on so I gently take it off so she doesn't wake up again. A little piece of my heart broke when I saw her wrist. Just as I predicted, she relapsed. I tuck her in all the way, kiss her forehead and leave the room, carefully shutting the door.


	15. Chapter 15: Nightly Worries

Once back in the kitchen I decide to call the only person I knew who could help me figure out what to do. My mom. She's so strong, and so beautiful. Without her support and love I would never be where I am today. I doubt I would be alive.

I pick up the house phone and dial her number. On the third ring she picks up. "Demi, what's wrong? It's twelve here in NYC and the family has to get up early tomorrow." Her voice sounded really tired.

I debate if I'm gonna tell her for a few moments and say, "I know I'm really sorry but..." I pause again and say, "Jalizza relapsed."

My mom gasps and say says, "Oh no honey, what happened?"

I take a breath and say, "She texted me about an hour and a half ago asking if she could stay the night because something happened at home. When she texted me she was almost here but never came; I went outside to wait. But when I went into the driveway, when I got down there, she was lying on the ground all rolled up in a ball holding her face. Mom he punched her! She passed out on my couch before she could tell me what happened. I was taking off her sweatshirt so she would be more comfortable but there were cuts on her wrists. Mommy I really don't know what to do!"

My mom says with concern, "Oh baby, I don't know. So she never told you what happened exactly and doesn't know you saw her cuts?"

I say, "Yeah, she doesn't know a thing."

"Then you have to wait. If you confront her then she'll just freak out. Just keep an extra close eye on her though. She has a hard time trusting anyone and with a family like hers, I don't blame her."

"Alright, thanks mom. Go back to sleep and give everyone a hug and kiss for me."

"Okay honey, sleep tight and remember. I love and believe in you. Good night."

I say back, "Good night, love you to." With that I hang up the phone and walk into the kitchen. I get my tea which is still somewhat warm and check my cell phone. There were a couple of Google Alerts under my e-mail but then I notice that I have a text. I click on it, it's from Spencer.

**[I don't know what the hell my sister told you but she deserved it. She is a fat attention whore who got exactly what was coming for her. I don't care what the hell happens to her but she isn't staying in my house anymore. I hope you and your misfit rot in hell!]**

My heart dropped a little when I read this. How can any many say this to another human being never mind about his own sister. Maybe this is how it is in the Aubrey house but it isn't going to slide in mine!

I text back **[You disgust me. You claim to love your sister but then you hurt her. You don't know a thing about being a brother never mind about being a man. You are the reason why she has all of her disorders and problems. I may not be very old but I'm gonna take care of her the way she deserves to be taken care of. Now do yourself and me a favor and leave my family and I the hell alone!]**

I hit the send button and call to get his number blocked. I'm not letting him come near us again. After I'm done I get a blanket and pillow to sleep on the couch in case Jalizza wakes up again.


	16. Chapter 16: A Found Girl

**Jalizza's POV**

I awake in the warm embrace of blankets, but not mine. I smell the scent of eggs and bacon coming from outside the room. I open my eyes to see the pink walls of Demi's guest room I had stayed in. I get confused for a few moments trying to think why I'm here and not in my own bed, but then I remember I got into a fight with my brother. I try to remember what it was about but nothing comes up, but I do remember that I ran into the bathroom...

I look down and my stomach drops. I see the red marks I haven't had in months. I feel so ashamed that I relapsed as the memories come back. I can usually keep my emotions bottled up and be strong but there was just something about yesterday that just made me too weak to go on. My therapist always says that I need to let go before I hit rock bottom, guess that was it?

I know I should tell Demi but she'll wonder why, and then freak out when she finds out why I did it. I can't let her know that this all happened, I really hope she didn't talk to my brother though because that'll just make everything a hell of a lot worse. I go into the bathroom and put on my robe being careful to not look in the mirror. I can't bare the sight of my face or my body.

I walk down the stairs and see Demi singing and dancing as she is making food. She looks so flawless with her pajamas on and no makeup. Even with her hair up and all hot and sweaty from cooking she still looks gorgeous, no wonder why she is one of the most beautiful women in the world! I pop next to her and start singing along. When she realize I'm there she looks at me with sympathy and gives me a hug.

I say, "Wow, that was a big hug for eight in the morning. You aren't usually a morning person, what's up?"

She gets that serious look on her face and says, "Well. I don't usually have house guests that come in traumatized. What happened?" I shrug. She continues, "Really. Look is this nothing?" She shoves a mirror in my hand so I can see my face. I'm scared but she is giving me a look so I slowly begin to stare at myself. My face is all black and blue from where my brother punched me. "Honey, I can get you help from whoever did this to you! You just need to tell me what happened!"

That brings back memories from when I first went into treatment. All the doctors would say is, "We can help you only if you let us." Me going into treatment mght've been the best and only good decision my family ever made for me but it was so incredibly difficult and they certainly didn't make it easy, But then again that was their job plus I didn't really co-operate. I would rebel so much, they told me to sit down so I would start pacing around or spin in circles. They said go right, so I went left. I remember I almost got kicked out for biting some girl because she drank my apple juice.

That was the thing about me, no matter how obsessed I got with counting calories and loosing weight; I would still drink the largest amounts of apple juice. I couldn't just drink any kind though, it had to be a certain brand. My mom had sent me some because at the school place Timberline had called the academy I got my GPA back up to the 3's. As much as I hate that woman, that was one of the sweetest things she could've done. Anyways so my room mate thought it would be hilarious if she took a bottle for herself. I didn't think so, so I bit her. For the next few weeks I wasn't allowed to leave my room which really sucked because I couldn't use the phone to call anyone. So I had to write letters which didn't work out very well because at the time everyone was on the opposite sides of the country so it would take like a week just for them to get it. I told that to the Lady that was always constantly watching me so she would type the letters and send them as e-mails.

At the time I didn't really appreciate it, I just thought that it was an invasion of privacy. I remember the first reply I received back. It was Katelyn saying how she couldn't stop laughing that I bit my then room mate. I didn't write to her for the rest of my confinement. Thinking back I was such a little bitch! Well apparently I still am one per my brother.

I think for about a minute on it I should reply honestly about what happened. I reach for my phone in my pants pocket but all I felt was the inner denim fabric. I say, "Where's my phone?"

Demi rolls her eyes and says, "Answer my question. What happened last night before you came here."

She so god damn stubborn! I mutter under my breath, "What are you my mother?"

I guess that was a lot louder than I expected because her eyes got huge out of anger. She says, "Seeing your mom doesn't really give to shits about you, I guess I kinda have to."

I stare at her for the next few moments thinking what to say back because I'm so angry. My mom and I might not have the best relationship like Demi and Dianna but she has no right to say that at all. I just say back, "What?"

"You heard me. Last night when I put you to bed after your brother beat the shit out of you, he texted me. He said your family doesn't want you anymore so I could have you." I stare at her for a few more minutes, That can't be true! As messed up as my family is, they would never turn their back on me. Demi continues, "Look I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice and I shouldn't have said it that way. I don't even know if your parents feel the same as your brother. I sent him a text saying stay the hell away and blocked him so I never got a reply. And seeing I change my number a lot so Patrick can't get to me and your phone is missing, your parents could be calling right now looking for you."

I shake my head and say, "No you're right. It's always been this way. My father is just as bad as my brother and my mother is just a drunk who doesn't care. I remember one time my mom actually grounded me for my brother punching me in the face."

Demi interrupts and says, "Wait, hold on. You're telling me this happened before!"

"Yeah. That's why I started cutting in the first place. Sure people were always assholes to me but I never really cared. It was the constant abuse I got at home. It was like every little thing I did was wrong. If I got less than an A then I was a retard or average. They constantly teased and still tease me about my weight no matter how unhealthy I got. When I'd try sticking up for myself, that's when they'd hit me. That scar on my lip isn't from falling out of a tree when I was little, it's from running away from my dad. He pushed me down the stairs."

I can't believe I just let out all of my dark secrets. I'd held them in since I was born. All the unknown scars that weren't from my own self and the untold stories on why I wasn't in school are finally known. Demi is just staring at me in shock. Tears are leaving her eyes and I see her blood starting to boil in anger. She says, "Why didn't you just tell me?"

I laugh a little and reply, "One rule when you're being abused. You don't get hit and tell. If I ever told you or anyone else, I would probably have it worse or possibly be dead."

"But I would've protected you! I could've gotten you out of there sooner!"

I look at her with a weird look and say, "What do you mean by get me out sooner?" What does she think she's doing?! She's crazy if she thinks my parents will ever let me stay here permanently. they are in control of me.

"Do you honestly think I'm gonna let you continue living with them. Jalizza they hurt you, they've hurt you so badly they could go away for a very long time. You are a victim of child abuse! You're gonna have to move in here until something can be figured out."

I shake my head. "Do you honestly think my parents will let you take me away from them? I'm still there child no matter what has happened. They have legal rights to me no matter what they've done because no one knows!"

"Sweetie, I can't let them get away with this. I'm gonna call my lawyer. Hopefully I'll be able to get custody of you so you don't have to be put in some home."

I get a sense of fear and relief at the same time. As she gets out her phone I say, "Please don't. Even though they've hurt me, they are still my parents. Just don't do anything that has to do with legal stuff."

She looks in my eyes for a few moments trying to make a decision. She then puts her phone down on the counter and says, "Fine, only because you've asked me though. But you are never staying there again. I don't care if I have to fight your parents with every little piece of me." I try interrupting but she continues, "No buts or excuses. We don't even know it they'll come around again!"

For the first time in my life I finally can say I feel safe. I say, "Thank you." She smiles, nods and hugs me. I think she finally understands everything now. My dark secrets are out and my story of being alone and lost is finally over.


End file.
